WHAT BEING TALL MEANS TO ME
by Kelly Schmutte
What exactly does being tall
mean to me? At first, I tend to think of all the trivial difficulties
and nuances associated with it: never finding pants long enough,
always getting the privilege of joining the back row in group
pictures, being taller than my date if I choose to wear heels, and
having others continually assume that I must play basketball or
volleyball. Despite these issues, I have no doubts about wanting to be
every inch of my tall frame and would under no circumstances choose to
relinquish my height. The pride and self-confidence I have come to
connect with my height, though, has been a process unfolding over the
course of several years and one that continues to develop.
I vaguely remember being aware
that my height in elementary school equaled or surpassed that of my
male classmates, but it wasn't until junior high that the fact became
more painfully awkward. I'm quite sure that the towering frame of a
girl like myself never did much to encourage those puny, intimidated
seventh-grade boys to ask me to dance. The ninth-grade winter formal
was an especially important event to me, and I was determined to look
as sophisticated and elegant as possible. Soon after finding the dress
of my dreams, I found the perfect shoes to match, a lovely pair of
black, strappy heels in the Nordstrom's catalog. The only problem?
Four-inch heels, which as my mother cautioned me, would put me several
inches over six feet. After some serious deliberation, I decided to go
ahead and buy them anyway on the condition that I followed my mother's
only requirement - that I stand up tall and proud. Though I certainly
felt a little out of place among my friends at the dance, I never lost
my poise. In taking this small risk, I believe I took a major step
toward learning how to disregard the opinions and judgments of others
and focus solely on my own personal expression. Ever since then, I
learned that nothing matters as much as my own self-confidence, and
being tall has certainly aided me in discovering this invaluable fact.
However, one area in which I
could not escape the judgments of others was in my world of ballet.
Ballet most definitely values aesthetics far more than most other
athletic activities, being a performing art, and while my added height
definitely gave my dancing elegance, poise, grace, and long lines, it
hindered me in many areas. Often I was overlooked for dances because I
was taller than the others and there wouldn't' be the proper
"balance," or because I had been stereotyped for certain
slower, more graceful roles. My teacher would always say how nice it
was to have such tall, beautiful dances to me and a select other few,
but the distinction among heights was always central to casting, and
while it sometimes worked to my advantage, oftentimes it did not.
Though the experience was occasionally frustrating, I believe it made
me a stronger person and taught me how to face the reality of
discrimination in the real world. It also prompted me to start running
both cross country and track, where I was delighted to find that
physical appearance did not matter, and that me height was a great
benefit. Thus being tall taught me to seek out areas where one's
effort correlates directly with one's achievement, eliminating the
judgment of others or other outside factors.
Working through the
difficulties of being tall has definitely made me a stronger, more
self-confident person. When I stand up straight, I feel proud,
powerful, beautiful, and unique, and now I have finally come to
understand what people mean when they say, "You're so lucky to be
tall!"
